Givers & Takers

For those who are the strong ones, the smart ones, the logical, and the dependable, how are you doing? I know most of you don’t get asked that often enough, if ever at all. So I would like to know.

I know the givers of the world are rarely asked if there’s anything that can be done for them. It’s usually quite the opposite, everyone always wants something. People want time, or attention, or the knowledge and resources you have access to. But no one ever asks if you need their resources, or their time, their help. You’re always the listener, the advice giver, the outlet to vent to, and the burden holder. The “strong one” in the family, when everything hits the fan they call you first.

It’s easy to get caught up in the role of being the strong one. You become the anchor in the storm for others, the one who has it all together, who people lean on when their world starts to crumble. But what happens when you feel overwhelmed?

You might start to feel guilty for wanting a break, or for not having the energy to deal with someone else’s problems. But I believe a good way to pause and take some time for yourself means setting boundaries. Boundaries are a form of self-respect. You’re able to set limits on how much you give to others. It’s ok to say no sometimes despite how others may feel.

I believe people forget that the strong ones need support as well. You have your own problems, fears, worries, and your own life. But because you are that strong person in your family, the one who is always fine and never asks for help, the one that has it all together, a good head on their shoulder, everyone assumes you’re fine.

But sometimes it’s ok to say no to people. It’s ok to not answer every single call and text. There’s nothing wrong with saying “I am overwhelmed and I don’t have the capacity to deal with your problems as well as my own.”

So, how are you doing? Really. When was the last time you took a moment for yourself? Have you paused and taken a breath today? Take time to acknowledge what you’re feeling. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself, it’s very necessary.